Once upon a time there was a Spambot who spammed his blogs about music, fitness training, hiking and inspirational days out all over the interwebz (but not the evil interwebz, obviously) and they were loved by all, even if the viewing figures suggested otherwise.
Spambot had enjoyed a wonderful year of spamming, which had included such memorable blogs as Silverstone Half-Marathon training : week 10
and now he wondered what he would write about on his birthday. He had received over 200 birthday greetings on his book of face, so there was clearly an eager audience clamouring for more.
Now, on this day of his birth in 2013, Spambot did go to a morning bootcamp session but his mind was filled with thoughts of the evening, because Bassoonhilde had organised something, and had spent the day locked away in the kitchen, eventually emerging with The Big White Box, but no food for hungry Spambot. Spambot was told that as a special treat he could wear his Big Red Shorts and his Shineback tshirt that evening, and he should drive all the way to Shoreditch, but drive nicely, mind, because he should not upset the contents of The Big White Box. Spambot drove very nicely without any beeping of the horn all the way to that London and a currytastic place called Brick Lane, and soon found himself outside the fabled Masala.
As Bassoonhilde opened the door, Spambot walked in to find a table filled with familiar faces. And the bodies which went with those faces. There was Backing Tape Man; The Amazing Wilf with Yvfelt and the Giant Who; Ashleaze; Facebook Ramsey; Late Woman; Trouser Dropping Man; Mini Spambot; and Curry Monster. And there in the middle of them was Spambot’s arch-nemesis, The Norfolk Broad !
Naturally, there were endless quantities of poppadoms, a selection of starters which were not onion bhajis, a wide variety of curries, and the now obligatory cheese naan. The conversation was sparkling, talking about music, fitness training, hiking and inspirational days out, and then Spambot let some of the others say a few things.
It had been a wonderful evening but Spambot was still curious to know what was in The Big White Box. Could it really be the head of Noel Edmunds, as everyone wished ? Thankfully this fairy tale is not so grimm, and it was a most excellent Shineback-themed cake with a big J for Spambot on the top of it.
So now Spambot knew what Bassoonhilde had been doing all day in the kitchen ! And she had made this cake, too !
Everyone ate a piece and they all agreed it was the most delicious cake they had ever eaten that evening, and they all lived happily ever after. Apart from The Norfolk Broad, whose world fell out of her bottom, which should be a lesson to all arch-nemesises of Spambot.
The end. Only of this blog. Not the end of everything.